Sexual assault and rape: what should parents know?.

Sexual abuse involves subjecting another person to a sexual act or violation without their consent, or an act prohibited by law because of age or other circumstances. It may involve unwanted sexual touching, sexual intercourse or online acts. Rape is a specific form of serious sexual offence. Under Norwegian criminal law, rape includes sexual intercourse without consent, among other acts. Separate rules concerning children's ages also apply.

Children may imagine that abuse always involves a violent attack by a stranger. Explain that abuse may also be committed by friends, partners, family members and other people a child knows. It may happen without blows, threats or visible injuries. A relationship or previous sexual contact never provides automatic consent.

For younger children, begin with ordinary situations: A friend wants to hug someone who would rather wave. You can discuss asking, respecting the answer and stopping when someone does not want something. Explain that body parts usually covered by underwear are private, and that adults are responsible for making sure help with washing, healthcare and personal care is given in a safe, understandable way.

Explain calmly and explicitly what sexual abuse can involve: If someone touches a child's private body parts in a sexual way, wants the child to touch their private body parts, shows sexual pictures to involve the child, or pressures the child into sexual acts, the child should be able to tell someone. The child should receive help even if the person is someone they know or love.

For teenagers, conversations need more specific information about consent. Consent means that sexual contact is voluntary and wanted. It may be expressed through words or actions, but silence or not fighting back is not automatically consent. Agreeing to one act does not mean agreeing to everything, and anyone can change their mind. Someone who is sleeping or unable to resist sexual intercourse because of severe intoxication cannot consent.

Some people who experience something frightening or overwhelming become silent or freeze. Others resist, move away or only react later. No particular reaction is required for your child's experience to be taken seriously. Even physical responses during sexual contact do not constitute consent on their own.

Be equally clear about responsibility for other people's boundaries as about the right to set one's own. Talk with girls and boys about stopping when uncertain, never pressuring someone into sex, and intervening safely or getting an adult if a friend is being pressured. If your own child has violated another person's boundaries, the behaviour must stop, the person affected must be protected, and your child must receive professional help to take responsibility.

Children may disclose abuse indirectly, a little at a time or long afterwards. Receive the disclosure calmly. Say that telling you was the right thing to do, that the child will get help, and that responsibility lies with the person who committed the act. Avoid leading questions or detailed interrogation. Write down your child's own words and seek professional guidance on next steps.

Make sure your child is safe and does not have further contact with the person of concern. If abuse is suspected, you can contact the police on 02800 or the Norwegian child helpline on 116 111 for advice. Contact the out-of-hours medical service on 116 117 promptly after a recent incident for medical assessment and referral to age-appropriate care. Call 112 if there is immediate danger and 113 for a serious medical emergency.

Some parents fear using words such as abuse and rape. Age-appropriate explanations can make it easier for children to recognise unsafe situations and find the words to tell someone. The aim is for your child to know their rights and which adults can help.