For parents and caregivers
Boundaries, relationships and online life
When a relationship becomes controlling.
Controlling behaviour can develop gradually in a relationship. Your child may need help recognising the pattern and finding safe support.
Understanding the situation
Demands for passwords, monitoring a phone and rules about clothing or friendships can be signs of control. Threats, humiliation and punishment when a child sets boundaries are also serious.
Your child may care deeply about the person while also being frightened of them. This can make it difficult to tell someone or end contact. A calm adult who follows up over time can be an important route to help.
Turning knowledge into action
What you can do
- Ask what happens when your child says no or wants to spend time with other people.
- Stay in touch and make it easy for your child to ask for help.
- Get advice about safety before confronting the person or changing contact arrangements.
Find a way to start
One way to begin
“How does this person react when you want something different? I would like to understand how you feel in the relationship.”
Use your own words and give your child time to respond. A short conversation can be a good beginning.
More help with the conversationFurther support
When should you seek help?
Contact the Norwegian child helpline on 116 111 for advice about your child's safety. The police can help with threats or violence. Call 112 if there is immediate danger.
See who you can contactContinue learning
Other useful topics
Sources and further reading
Sources were checked on 1 October 2026. The conversation examples are suggestions from Tidlignok.
This content provides general information. Healthcare professionals can assess your child's symptoms, circumstances and treatment needs.