Sex and boundaries · For ages 13–17
When a sexual experience was unwanted
If something sexual happened that you did not want, you can receive support and help.
You can describe what you remember and how the experience feels to you. A trusted adult or healthcare professional can help you with what happens next.
You may have frozen or become silent
In an unsafe situation, the body may react automatically. Some people fight back or move away. Others become completely silent, freeze or feel unable to move or speak.
Freezing or becoming silent does not mean that you wanted what happened. Responsibility for an assault lies with the person who commits it. You can get help regardless of how you reacted.
You may have said yes earlier
You can change your mind at any time. Having said yes earlier does not mean you agreed to everything that happened afterwards.
It is okay to be unsure how you feel
Some people feel frightened or angry, while others feel very little at the time. You may also miss or care about the person while feeling that a boundary was crossed. Your response does not determine whether you deserve help.
You can describe what happened without choosing a legal term for the experience. A supportive conversation should allow you to go at your own pace while your health needs and safety are considered. You can ask for a break, return later or bring someone you trust.
You can tell someone
You can speak with someone you trust, a school nurse, a doctor or a sexual assault support centre.
You can receive healthcare
Healthcare professionals can help with injuries, infection risks, pregnancy risks and further support. After a recent incident, seek help promptly because some measures are time-sensitive. You can also receive help if more time has passed.
In Norway, call the out-of-hours medical service on 116 117 to find out where to get help. A sexual assault support centre can provide free medical care and advice, without a referral or a requirement to report the assault to the police. The out-of-hours service can help you find a service suitable for your age and circumstances. If you are in danger now, call the police on 112.
What next?
Start with one sentence
You can say: 'Something sexual happened that I did not want, and I would like to talk to someone about it.' You can also read 'What is rape?' if you want to understand sexual activity without consent.
Sources
These are the sources used for this article. Links open in a new tab. Source titles may be in Norwegian.
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