Boundaries and relationships
My child seems afraid of making someone angry.
Your child seems focused on avoiding another person's reactions. It might be a friend, partner, adult or family member. Ask what your child is afraid of.
01 · Understand
What is important to understand?
Your child's own account matters. Ask what happens in the relationship and how fear affects daily life. What you notice can have several explanations.
Your child changes their own choices
Your child cancels plans or changes their mind after contact with the person.
Your child prepares for the reaction
They spend a lot of time choosing the right words or explaining ordinary decisions.
Your child feels responsible for the other person's anger
Your child says they must do everything right themselves for the other person to stay calm.
Fear affects daily life
Notice whether your child seems unsafe before meetings, messages or particular situations.
02 · Talk
How can you begin the conversation?
Choose a calm time and a place where your child can answer freely. Ask open questions and let them describe things in their own words.
For example, you could say
“I can see you become anxious when this person contacts you. What are you thinking then?”
“What usually happens when the person gets angry?”
“What would help make the situation safer for you?”
03 · Take action
What can you do now?
Take the fear seriously. You can ask for advice about how to help, even while you are still trying to understand the situation.
Show that you can listen
Respond calmly: 'Thank you for telling me. I want to help.'
Find out what your child needs now
Ask whether your child is dreading going somewhere or meeting someone. Assess safety before the next contact.
Choose a trusted helper
Involve your child in choosing an adult or professional who can support you both.
Seek advice if violence is a concern
Contact the child helpline or police if your child describes threats, violence or abuse.
Follow up after the conversation
Later, ask how things have been since your last conversation. Make it clear that your child can also choose another trusted adult to talk to.
04 · Find help
Who can help you next?
If fear persists or you are concerned about your child's safety, get help assessing the situation. Describe specifically what you have noticed and what your child has said.
Norwegian child helpline
Call 116 111 if you are worried about violence, abuse or neglect. Adults can also get free anonymous guidance. The helpline is available around the clock.
Call 116 111Norwegian Police
Call the police on 02800 for advice about threats, violence or abuse. Call 112 if there is immediate danger.
Call 02800When it is urgent
If there is immediate danger from violence or threats, call the police on 112. For urgent medical care, call the out-of-hours service on 116 117.
Sources and further reading
The explanations and advice are written for parents and caregivers using the sources below. Conversation examples are suggestions from Tidlignok.