Boundaries and relationships
My child has described pressure or something unwanted.
Your child has started telling you about something difficult or unwanted. Respond calmly and help your child take the next steps.
01 · Understand
Begin with your child's own words
Pressure can mean being made to do something your child does not want. It may involve the body, touching, sex, images or other actions. Rape and other sexual abuse can also occur without physical violence, and the person responsible may be someone your child knows. Your child may need time and support to talk.
Let your child describe it
Use the words your child chooses. Ask openly: 'Tell me more about that.'
Check whether your child is safe
Ask whether your child is safe now and whether they will meet the person again.
Be alert to healthcare needs
After recent abuse or when urgent healthcare is needed, contact the out-of-hours medical service for guidance.
Explain the next steps
Explain which adults you will ask for help and what will happen next.
02 · Talk
How can you begin the conversation?
Listen and let your child speak at their own pace. An initial conversation should provide support and clarify what your child needs now. Leave detailed questioning to professionals.
For example, you could say
“Thank you for telling me. I take what you say seriously.”
“You deserve to be safe. I will help you.”
“I want to get help from people who understand this. I will explain what happens next.”
03 · Take action
What can you do now?
Adults must take responsibility for protection and necessary help. Children should be informed and listened to throughout.
Create a calm space around your child
Find a safe place and stay available. Let your child take breaks from talking.
Record what has already been said
Write down your child's own words and when the conversation happened. Keep their account separate from your interpretations.
Contact the right services
If sexual abuse is suspected, call the police on 02800 in Norway. The child helpline can also advise.
Arrange healthcare if necessary
Call 116 117 after a recent sexual assault. The service will direct you to appropriate care for your child's age.
Follow up after the conversation
Keep supporting your child in everyday life and through further care. Ask how they feel and what they need, rather than requesting another detailed account.
04 · Find help
Who can help you next?
Suspected violence or sexual abuse needs follow-up. Police can advise on protection and further handling. Healthcare following sexual assault is available whether or not an official report is made.
Norwegian Police
Call the police on 02800 for advice about threats, violence or abuse. Call 112 if there is immediate danger.
Call 02800Healthcare after an incident
After a recent sexual assault or when urgent healthcare is needed, call 116 117 for guidance to appropriate care for your child’s age.
Call 116 117Norwegian child helpline
Call 116 111 if you are worried about violence, abuse or neglect. Adults can also get free anonymous guidance. The helpline is available around the clock.
Call 116 111When it is urgent
If there is immediate danger from violence or threats, call the police on 112. For urgent medical care, call the out-of-hours service on 116 117.
Sources and further reading
The explanations and advice are written for parents and caregivers using the sources below. Conversation examples are suggestions from Tidlignok.