Body and safety · Ages 8–12
When someone does something to your body that they should not
Perhaps someone hugged you when you did not want a hug, tried to look at your body while you were changing clothes, or touched an area that feels private. Sometimes it is easy to say stop. Other times you may feel surprised, frightened, confused or become completely silent. Here we explain what private body parts are, what sexual abuse means and how to tell an adult about something that happened. You can learn about your body and boundaries to understand and look after yourself.
Perhaps someone hugged you when you did not want a hug, tried to look at your body while you were changing clothes, or touched an area that feels private. Sometimes it is easy to say stop. Other times you may feel surprised, frightened, confused or become completely silent. Here we explain what private body parts are, what sexual abuse means and how to tell an adult about something that happened. You can learn about your body and boundaries to understand and look after yourself.
01
Which body parts are private?
Private body parts are parts we usually cover with underwear, such as our bottoms and genitals. Genitals include the vulva, the external parts between girls' legs, and the penis, a body part between boys' legs. Breasts can also be private. All body parts have names, and you can ask about them. Your body belongs to you. You have the right to get help with washing and healthcare when you need it, and to know what an adult is doing and why.
02
What is touching?
Touching means someone making contact with your body, for example with their hand. A hug that you want can feel nice. Tickling can be fun until you want it to stop. Then the other person must stop. Sometimes touching can be unwanted even if it does not hurt. You can tell an adult you trust about it.
03
What does sexual abuse mean?
Sexual abuse means someone doing something sexual to a child that they are not allowed to do. For example, someone may touch a child's private body parts for their own purposes, want the child to touch their genitals, or pressure the child to watch or take part in something sexual. It can also happen through pictures, videos or messages. Something can be abuse even if nobody hits, threatens or physically hurts the child. The person who commits the abuse is always responsible.
04
What if it is someone you know?
The person who crosses a boundary may be someone you know. It could be another child, a teenager or an adult. It might also be someone you like or love. You can love someone and still experience them doing something that is not okay. You can tell another adult, even if the person says you must not tell.
05
What if you did not say no?
Some people say stop. Others go quiet, freeze or do not know what to do. That is one way the body can react when something is frightening or confusing. You can get help regardless of how you reacted. It is never a child's fault when someone sexually abuses them.
06
What if it felt okay at first?
You can change your mind about hugs, games or other touching. Feeling okay with something at first does not mean you must continue. If an older person or adult does something sexual to a child, the older person or adult is responsible, even if the child was curious or did not understand what was happening.
07
What if someone asks you to keep it secret?
Some secrets are pleasant, like a birthday surprise. But if someone tells you to keep touching, pictures or anything else involving your body secret, you can always tell a safe adult. You can tell even if you promised to stay quiet or someone said they would get angry if you spoke up.
08
When adults help with washing or at the doctor
Sometimes a child needs help washing, changing clothes, treating a wound or having an examination at the doctor. The adult must do this to help the child, explain what is happening in a way the child understands, and listen if something hurts or the child becomes worried. If you are unsure about something an adult has done, you can ask another safe adult.
09
How can you tell someone what happened?
You can start with one sentence: 'Someone did something to my body that I want to tell you about.' You can also say: 'I don't know if it was okay, but I want you to listen to me.' You can use the words you know, write, draw or show a message. You can tell a little at a time. A safe adult should listen and help you.
10
What if the first adult does not help?
If an adult interrupts you, says it will probably be fine or does nothing, you can tell another adult. You can say, 'I tried to tell someone, but I still need help.' Someone not understanding you the first time does not mean what you have to say is unimportant. Try an adult somewhere else, for example at school or the school nurse. You can show them a note or this page if it is difficult to say the words. Adults are responsible for helping you stay safe and deciding what needs to happen next.
11
What if it happens to a friend?
If a friend tells you that someone has done something to their body, you can listen and say: 'Shall we find an adult together?' Get help from a safe adult, who is responsible for helping. A safe adult should help.
Want to talk about it?
You can ask someone you trust about anything you have noticed or are worried about. A school nurse or doctor can also help if symptoms affect everyday life.
Help me explainSources and further information
Personal health concerns require assessment by a healthcare professional. Some source documents are in Norwegian.